I hear from women all the time who say they are curious about anal sex but don’t know where to start. Or, they tried it with their partner and it was a disaster. I get that. After all, your butt is anatomically built for things to come out, not go in. And yet, anal sex can be really pleasurable if you know what you’re doing and you’re really into it. I have always loved some anal action!
So read on and I’ll give you some tips on how to have some amazing anal sex.
If you’re not into it, you’re never going to enjoy it
I can’t count the number of times I’ve heard women say “my partner really wants anal sex but I’m not into it.” My reply is always to ask him to go first and then you MAY be wiling to give it a try. See if that changes his tune. After all, anal sex takes preparation, consent, willingness and relaxation. If any of those things are missing, you shouldn’t be doing it. Period
Don’t start out with a penis your first time.
There are a couple of reasons for this.
#1 A penis is big for a booty beginner. You’re better getting a butt plug or slender pegging dildo to start off with. I recommend thePlease Slim Anal Silicone 5 Inch Dildo because it’s super soft and easy to use. Mine is the black one (below) but it comes in a pretty pink and blue too.
#2 Starting with a toy gives you more control over your comfort and the depth and speed of penetration. Letting your partner penetrate you anally requires a level of self-control on his part and LOTS of communication between the two of you.
Get yourself some really great lube
I am a big fan of Wicked Simply Aqua Jelle because it’s super thick and stays where you put it. It lasts longer too, so you don’t have to reapply as much while you play. There are lots of thick anal lubes out there but whatever you do, DO NOT get a numbing lube. Yes, those exist, and no I don’t recommend them. You need to feel everything that is going on during anal play so you don’t end up accidentally hurting yourself.
Come to terms with the possibility of some mess
If you have used the washroom and given yourself a good cleaning, you should be fine, but there is always the possibility of a bit of poop remaining lower in the anal cavity. If that worries you, get yourself a simple douche.
Have him wear a condom
There are 2 reasons for this.
#1 It takes care of the whole worrying about poop thing because any poop will end up on the condom and not on his penis
#2 If there IS poop, he can end up with a urinary tract infection from fecal matter getting into his urethra. Yuck.
Not all positions are created equal
Maybe he’s really into doggie style but you’re finding it uncomfortable. Or maybe you tried missionary but can’t lift your hips enough for comfortable penetration. Try putting a pillow (or two or three) under your hips if that’s the case. I ADORE my Liberator wedge for this job. You can also try it with you on top so that you can control the depth and speed of penetration. I have never found a man who can say no to being ridden.
Relax and have fun.
You never know. You may have just discovered your new favorite thing!
Full time mom, part-time sex toy blogger, belly dancer and baker. I stumbled into reviewing but now it's my passion. I want to spread the word about all the great ways you can use toys to enhance your sex life solo or with your partner and I'm thrilled to be taking the helm at I Love My Vibrators. We're going to have some honest, no holds barred fun here and I can't wait.